Frida Kahlo by Jemima Bean, age 10.
Jemima is 10 years old. She points to the computer screen, tapping on a black sweatshirt with bold, white letters. “This is the one I want. It says, ‘Don’t Touch My Hair.’ I get tired of telling people to stop.” Today, Jemima’s hair is braided into long, ombré braids. They fade from black to blonde and look, “Just like Beyoncé’s!” Jemima beams. She says it took her mom 14 hours of braiding to put them in. You can tell she is proud of her mom. Turning back to the screen she checks to make sure her size is in stock. It is. Her grandma gave her $50 for Christmas, and this is the purchase she is most excited to make.
“Every time I have a new hairstyle, people won’t stop touching it.” Mostly it is other girls in her fifth-grade class. But on a recent field trip, she couldn’t get an older woman to stop. “My hair was purple. It was really pretty. A lady I didn’t know just kept running her hands through it. I told her she had to ask to touch my hair. My mom and I practice that a lot. How to talk to people who touch me. Anyway, I told her, but she didn’t stop. She told me my hair was ‘too tempting.’ That made me feel weird.” Jemima says her mom took to social media to share the story and educate people on black hair care. The woman who had touched her hair heard about it. “She emailed my mom to apologize. She was really nice. She just didn’t know. That is OK. But she should have listened to me.”
Not everyone is so nice, though. Jemima says fifth grade has been difficult for her. Navigating the pre-teen years can be tough for any child. For a child who is one of the only black children in her school, it sometimes feels impossible. Jemima explains that the girls don’t just touch her hair: they also want to wear the same styles. “I tried to explain cultural appropriation to them. But I can’t always make the words in my head come out the way I want them to.” English is Jemima’s second language, making it even more challenging. Jemima says she doesn’t expect people to know, but she does wish they’d listen. “I get pretty sad sometimes. A lot of people are mean to me because I’m black. We had to move to a new state because of it.”
Keegan Butler is 15 and is friends with Jemima’s older sisters. He says he has seen people touching Jemima’s hair and it makes him uncomfortable. “I have witnessed…older white women fondle her hair. It is always without consent.” He feels like people are probably just curious or trying to be complimentary. “They say things like: ‘Wow, this is so fascinating.’ ‘Your hair is so cool.’ ‘How do you get these braids? Does your mom do them for you?’ ‘Is it real?’ ‘How do you wash it?’” Keegan goes on to say that, while these may be intended as compliments, they are actually micro-aggressions. “These are subtle forms of racism. People may not even be aware these things are racist, but they should be. The curiosity is understandable. But pulling and touching Jemima’s hair dehumanizes her. It makes my skin crawl.”
Jemima flips through her sketchbook. It is hard to comprehend that these are the drawings of a 10-year-old. “My Frida Kahlo drawing is probably my best one. She had a really hard life. I think about her a lot.” When she grows up, Jemima hopes to be an artist. And a dancer. And to play the flute. Whatever the future holds for her, Jemima thinks she is lucky. She knows her family and friends will always fight for her. “My mom says we can do hard things together. I’m really glad I don’t have to do the hard things all by myself.”
If you would like to see more of Jemima’s art, you can follow here on Instagram @jemima_bean
