{"id":5268,"date":"2018-03-30T09:50:21","date_gmt":"2018-03-30T13:50:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/wp.umpi.edu\/utimes\/?p=5268"},"modified":"2025-08-24T10:42:14","modified_gmt":"2025-08-24T14:42:14","slug":"gunwives","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wp.umpi.edu\/utimes\/2018\/03\/30\/gunwives\/","title":{"rendered":"Gunwives"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"attachment_5269\" style=\"width: 560px\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp.umpi.edu\/utimes\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/27\/2018\/03\/The-Beautiful-Bride.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-5269\" class=\"size-full wp-image-5269\" src=\"https:\/\/wp.umpi.edu\/utimes\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/27\/2018\/03\/The-Beautiful-Bride.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"550\" height=\"550\" srcset=\"https:\/\/wp.umpi.edu\/utimes\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/29\/2018\/03\/The-Beautiful-Bride.jpg 550w, https:\/\/wp.umpi.edu\/utimes\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/29\/2018\/03\/The-Beautiful-Bride-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/wp.umpi.edu\/utimes\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/29\/2018\/03\/The-Beautiful-Bride-300x300.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 550px) 100vw, 550px\" \/><\/a><p id=\"caption-attachment-5269\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">The Beautiful Bride<\/p><\/div>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 <\/span>Shotgun wedding was given a whole new meaning as proud ammosexual Theodore Clemmens said his vows to \u201cEthel,\u201d his beloved Mossberg Pump-Action shotgun. Clemmens then carried his spouse out of the church, in what could only be called a truly memorable moment. The blue Ford pick-up, Confederate war flag hanging proudly in the back, kicked up dust as cans clinked down the old dirt road.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cJust Married\u201d was written in the back window.<!--more--><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 <\/span>Clemmens is a 65-year-old Civil War recreation enthusiast and Confederacy sympathizer who believes that the war was never really about slavery.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>He spoke at length about his reasoning behind marrying his firearm.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI guess I\u2019m just afraid that they are going to take her away.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I figured if I marry her, then they will not be able to remove her.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>She lives here.\u201d<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Clemmens, having been married once before, said that he is not worried about divorce.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>He feels that the first marriage didn\u2019t last because of his love for outdoorsmanship, something that he and Ethel are able to enjoy together.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Clemmens also stated several times that what he was doing was trying to take back the phrase ammosexual.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>He wasn\u2019t ashamed at how he felt about Ethel and that no man should worry about how he and his firearm are in the privacy of their own home.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 <\/span>As one might expect, not everyone is OK with this union.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>There are those who believe that Ethel is not able to consent to the marriage.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>When this is brought up to Clemmens, he simply shrugs and talks about nonverbal relationships and how great they can be.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>The children from his first marriage are the others who have stood up against this.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cHe wants us to call her mama,\u201d eldest son Marcus Clemmens said.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cHe took us out of the will also.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>We already knew we were not getting much.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>He is leaving everything to what he calls his new children.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>He has three lucky shell casings that helped to take down a bear in the woods, with Ethel.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>He told us that they saved his life, which is more than we ever did.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 <\/span>Even with the opponents, there are those who would call Clemmens brave.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Sandy Tuckermanchild, a spokesperson for the Traditional Families are our Future campaign, spoke at length at a press conference after the wedding. \u201cMaybe this will show those liberal heathens what nontraditional marriage has allowed.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>We open one door, and they all open.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I say bless Theo and his lovely wife Ethel!\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 <\/span>Many attempts were made to get into an interview with Ethel but press was denied access.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Clemmens said that it was because she is afraid of the press.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>He said, \u201cEthel knows all the press are really on the payroll of the anti-gun cowards up in Washington, and she doesn\u2019t want to speak with them.\u201d<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>He further went to say, \u201cBesides, you will just try to take her from me, and that is not something I will let happen.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 Shotgun wedding was given a whole new meaning as proud ammosexual Theodore Clemmens said his vows to \u201cEthel,\u201d his beloved Mossberg Pump-Action shotgun. Clemmens then carried his spouse out of the church, in what could only be called a truly memorable moment. The blue Ford pick-up, Confederate war flag hanging proudly in the [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":166,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[7381],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5268","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-archives","et-doesnt-have-format-content","et_post_format-et-post-format-standard"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp.umpi.edu\/utimes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5268","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp.umpi.edu\/utimes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp.umpi.edu\/utimes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp.umpi.edu\/utimes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/166"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp.umpi.edu\/utimes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5268"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/wp.umpi.edu\/utimes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5268\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8688,"href":"https:\/\/wp.umpi.edu\/utimes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5268\/revisions\/8688"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp.umpi.edu\/utimes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5268"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp.umpi.edu\/utimes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5268"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp.umpi.edu\/utimes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5268"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}