{"id":5216,"date":"2018-03-30T09:50:19","date_gmt":"2018-03-30T13:50:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/wp.umpi.edu\/utimes\/?p=5216"},"modified":"2025-07-09T12:33:42","modified_gmt":"2025-07-09T16:33:42","slug":"king-vladimir-and-the-knights-of-the-square-table","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wp.umpi.edu\/utimes\/2018\/03\/30\/king-vladimir-and-the-knights-of-the-square-table\/","title":{"rendered":"King Vladimir and the Knights of the Square Table"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 <\/span>In the Kingdom of Aissur lived King Vladimir and his faithful knights.\u00a0 <\/span>His most faithful was Sir Donald. Under Sir Donald\u2019s command were Sir Jeffery, Sir John, Sir Rex, Sir Benjamin, and Sir Steven, his treasurer. They had all pledged their loyalty to the king and were rewarded for their efforts.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 <\/span>King Vladimir was not happy with his measly little kingdom and wanted to take over the Kingdom of Adanac, ruled by King Justin.\u00a0 <\/span>The day had come when he would send his faithful knights to capture Adanac in the name of King Vladimir. He would send them out at nightfall but first they would celebrate his certain victory.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 <\/span>The king had his cooks prepare a feast of cheeseburgers, French fries and chocolate shakes.\u00a0 <\/span>When they had their fill, he sent for his personal servant, Sir Michael. \u201cGo to the tower room and fetch me a dozen fair maidens.\u00a0 <\/span>Our bellies are full, and we need some female company,\u201d said King Vladimir. He then told Sir Michael, \u201cDon\u2019t forget to have them sign those non-disclosure forms before you bring them here.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 <\/span>After an afternoon of merriment and private lap dances, King Vladimir made a toast to his faithful knights. \u201cSir Donald will lead you tonight into battle and tomorrow the Kingdom of Adanac will be mine.\u00a0 <\/span>Godspeed.\u201d The knights mounted their horses and fell in line after Sir Donald. Within a couple of hours, they were on the outskirts of King Justin\u2019s castle. Sir Donald huddled with his faithful knights and said, \u201cI want you to stay hidden in these woods until I return. Only I know how to conquer Adanac.\u201d\u00a0 <\/span>He stripped down his armor, pulled his hood over his head and walked toward the castle.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 <\/span>The night watchman yelled out, \u201cWho goes there?\u201d\u00a0 <\/span>Sir Donald answered, \u201cThey call me DD. I have a message from King Vladimir to King Justin.\u201d\u00a0 <\/span>The night watchman said, \u201cWhat is it? Tell it to me and I shall deliver this message.\u201d Sir Donald replied, \u201cOnly I, and I alone, can deliver this message, believe me.\u201d\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cStay right here,\u201d said the night watchman. \u201cWhat did you say your name was?\u201d Sir Donald replied, \u2018They call me DD.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 <\/span>After a short time, the watchman returned to lead Sir Donald into the castle.\u00a0 <\/span>He brought him into the king\u2019s library and informed him that the king would join him soon.\u00a0 <\/span>The room was large, with many shelves filled with books. On one wall was a large stone fireplace.\u00a0 <\/span>There were four golden chairs around a large table in the middle of the room.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 <\/span>King Justin entered the room. \u201cRemove your hood!\u201d he said firmly.\u00a0 <\/span>Sir Donald peeled back the hood. \u201cWow, is that your real hair?\u201d he asked his visitor while letting out a belly laugh.\u00a0 <\/span>Trying to distract him, Sir Donald said, \u201cThat\u2019s a lot of books you have there.\u201d \u201cAye, it is\u201d he replied. \u201cDo you read much?\u201d\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cNo, not really,\u201d answered Sir Donald.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 <\/span>\u201cSo, what message have you brought me from your King Vladimir?\u201d asked King Justin.\u00a0 <\/span>Sir Donald told him that King Vladimir would like to take over the Kingdom of Adanac.\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI\u2019m not much of a fighter, but I\u2019m a hell of a negotiator,\u201d Sir Donald told him. \u201cLet\u2019s see what kind of deal we can come up with,\u201d he continued.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 <\/span>Once again, King Justin let out a belly laugh and said, \u201cYou\u2019re joking, right?\u201d\u00a0 <\/span>Sir Donald replied, \u201cBelieve me, we can try to come up with a deal, or my faithful knights who are hiding in the woods will come and conquer your kingdom.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 <\/span>\u201cOK, just sit here while I go get my treasurer,\u201d King Justin told him as he left the room.\u00a0 <\/span>Outside the room, the king found his knights and told them of this crazy guy, DD, and the knights hiding in the woods.\u00a0 <\/span>He told them to go out, sneak up on them from behind, capture them and bring them to him.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 <\/span>King Justin returned to the library with his treasurer.\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cNow DD, what could you possibly have to offer me?\u201d Sir Donald told him that he could give him a parcel of land with a grand inn on it in a warmer climate: a place where the king could relax by the water, play lawn games and eat the best chocolate cake he\u2019d ever tasted. \u201cI\u2019m prepared to sign this over to you right now,\u201d Sir Donald said. After some pacing and some thinking, the deal was done.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 <\/span>As the treasurer left the room, King Justin\u2019s knights entered with the knights who had been left to hide in the woods, their hands tied behind their backs and the armor stripped from their bodies. The king told his knights to take them all, and Sir Donald too, to the dungeon and lock them up.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 <\/span>King Vladimir never found out what happened to his faithful Knights of the Square Table, but he did give up on his quest to take over the Kingdom of Adanac.\u00a0 <\/span>Until his death, 40 years later, King Justin spent his winters in a warmer climate. Each winter he traveled with the demoted knights to his grand inn, which he called Ogalaram, where they would work for him.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 In the Kingdom of Aissur lived King Vladimir and his faithful knights.\u00a0 His most faithful was Sir Donald. Under Sir Donald\u2019s command were Sir Jeffery, Sir John, Sir Rex, Sir Benjamin, and Sir Steven, his treasurer. They had all pledged their loyalty to the king and were rewarded for their efforts. \u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":106,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[7381],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5216","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-archives","et-doesnt-have-format-content","et_post_format-et-post-format-standard"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp.umpi.edu\/utimes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5216","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp.umpi.edu\/utimes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp.umpi.edu\/utimes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp.umpi.edu\/utimes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/106"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp.umpi.edu\/utimes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5216"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/wp.umpi.edu\/utimes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5216\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8704,"href":"https:\/\/wp.umpi.edu\/utimes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5216\/revisions\/8704"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp.umpi.edu\/utimes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5216"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp.umpi.edu\/utimes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5216"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp.umpi.edu\/utimes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5216"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}