Breaking News: Weather Update

Breaking News_ Weather Report.

What is happening in the County this year? Record breaking snow depths, powerful winds that cause whiteouts and huge ice walls along the roads is what describes our current situation here in northern Maine.

Well, according to the recent news and studies, the weather doesn’t seem to get better. The National Association of Snowing is pushing for a declaration of a national emergency, since the snowfall is estimated to continue even in the summer months, with world record-breaking amounts of snow. There is also a possibility that snow will continue all the way to December of 2019.  And scientists are assured that we will have a continuous winter until the winter of 2020. Continue reading “Breaking News: Weather Update”

Pett and Meeko Take Third Place at the Can-Am Crown

Meeko and one of her dog friends.

The crowd gathered, stretched and squinted to see who was coming through the trees to claim third place in the Can-Am 250. Abi Pett and her team charged across the finish line to a mixed reception Monday morning. Family and friends were cheering. They came quickly to unhook the team and congratulate Pett. Others turned away muttering. Pett finished behind Martin Massicotte and Andre Longchamps with a time of 28 hours, 19 minutes and 45 seconds. Third place of the Can-Am comes with a $2,500 purse. There are some who feel Pett and her team should not be eligible for the prize money. Pett’s lead dog was a cat named Meeko. Continue reading “Pett and Meeko Take Third Place at the Can-Am Crown”

Magazines in Magazines

Child practicing holding a weapon.

The Russian educational system is considering a new law that would put “Avtomat Kalashnikova 47s” (known as AK-47s) into the hands of all school-aged children. The Russian parliament, known as the Duma, is likely to pass the law, which will come into effect on Jan. 1, 2020.

“We see the situation happening in America and other places in the world.  We want to be proactive” Gleb Yemelin, deputy to the State Duma, said. Continue reading “Magazines in Magazines”

Going to Mars

NASA recently announced that it is ready to launch a mission to Mars.

According to an article in the “National Conspirator,” NASA’s director of public information, Doug Blastoff, stated the space agency was hoping to launch the mission quietly and then alert the public after the astronauts reached space.  When asked why, he just replied, “Wouldn’t  you?”

The planned mission would be launched on board the new Galaxy Class Space Shuttle Enterprise.  Mr. Blastoff felt this new class of space shuttle will “boldly take this mission where no man has gone before.” Continue reading “Going to Mars”

The Cold Hard ‘Truth’

Are Yetis in Aroostook County?

This winter has been one for records in northern Maine. This winter not only stands out because of its snowfall, it stands out because of a record high amount of yeti sightings. Here in the County there are an average of six or seven yeti sightings every winter. This winter the number of encounters sky rocketed to a whopping 62 sightings. Now that winter is winding down, the number of sightings is dwindling, but excitement is still high. Continue reading “The Cold Hard ‘Truth’”

No More Snow in Northern Maine

You could have lived in Presque Isle, Maine, for the rest of your life without snow. Some people may be happy to hear that, others not. That is exactly what the city council thought on March 5, when they voted against a liquified melting product called “Melt-Tha-Sno.” The product would have been released into stores in Presque Isle. It is made from concentrated plasma. That plasma is provided by a meteor that crashed into the Loring Air Force Base in the 1960s. It can make snow instantly vanish. Continue reading “No More Snow in Northern Maine”

Chicken Flu Causes Nationwide Panic Among Farmers

Infected chicken

A national health organization reported 50 new cases of a recently discovered influenza strain in the last few days.

The Centers for Disease Control Prevention announced that the influenza strain is known as H19N12, though many people are referring to it as the “chicken flu.”

“This is not to be mistaken for the bird flu,” Mary Gibbons, CDC communication director, said. “It is only carried by chickens.  No other birds or poultry can pass it on or carry it themselves. It’s a completely separate thing.” Continue reading “Chicken Flu Causes Nationwide Panic Among Farmers”

Spring Cleaning at Gentile Hall!

Spring is such a great time of the year for mud and water!!  We sure have a lot of it with all the snow melting.  Here at Gentile we have decided to stop cleaning the facility until mud season is over.  So we welcome all to come on in and wear their muddy, wet shoes in the facility for the next month.  We feel that this will be great for all the cardio equipment and people walking barefoot in the locker rooms.  The more sand and dirt you bring into the pool area will make it feel like we are at the beach, which will really help with the winter blues. Continue reading “Spring Cleaning at Gentile Hall!”

Cupid Is on the Move in the County

A young couple hug each other somewhere in Aroostook County

Although Valentine’s Day has gone past, Cupid is on the move in Aroostook County.

This season’s finale of the reality TV show, “The Bachelor,” may have just wrapped its  previous season, but the producers are on the lookout for a new cast for next season. More specifically, a new bachelor or bachelorette. Continue reading “Cupid Is on the Move in the County”


The Beautiful Bride

     Shotgun wedding was given a whole new meaning as proud ammosexual Theodore Clemmens said his vows to “Ethel,” his beloved Mossberg Pump-Action shotgun. Clemmens then carried his spouse out of the church, in what could only be called a truly memorable moment. The blue Ford pick-up, Confederate war flag hanging proudly in the back, kicked up dust as cans clinked down the old dirt road.  “Just Married” was written in the back window. Continue reading “Gunwives”