New Diet Trends End Up With Rainbow Citizens.

     There is a new diet trend hitting the city of Presque Isle. The trend has people eating foods and drinks of only one color (excluding white, clear, black or brown). This diet is to use the color of the food they chose to remove the weight from the practitioner’s body. The diet allows the person to drink milk, water, coffee and have different forms of chocolate. People are eating carrots and oranges and drinking a blended mixture of orange ice cream, orange juice and carrots. While they lose weight, they end up looking more and more like The Thing™ from Marvel© comics.

     Another diet is that people are eating blueberries, blue cotton candy, blue gelatin and drinking blue smoothies. The people who try this diet end up looking like Smurfs.

     A third diet consists of corn, yellow cheddar, bananas, lemons and they drink lemonade. The people that do that trend look like they could be neighbors to Homer Simpson.

     The fourth diet consists of tomatoes, red peppers, red velvet cake, strawberries, raspberries, chili peppers and they drink V8 and cranberry juice. The side effect of this makes them look like they are severely sunburned.

     The fifth diet is made up of plums, eggplants, grape jelly, purple gelatin and they drink purple grape juice. The people who do this end up looking like Barney the Dinosaur™.

     The final diet consists of lettuce, broccoli, celery, rhubarb, peas, green beans, spinach, lima beans and wheatgrass. People on this diet also drink a blended mixture of wheatgrass, lettuce and Mountain Dew™. These people look like the Hulk™ and are about as cranky as he.

     There is a hidden seventh trend in which they combine all the others into one and they literally look like a walking symbol for gay pride. The person who started the trend was Irroro Arcus and he was the first to use the hidden trend. Arcus said, “This diet was created to do two things. It is to help people lose weight and to remove the concept of color from a person’s mind. If people are literally colors, then they can no longer be stereotyped.”

     There are some who are against Mr. Arcus’ trend and they are led by Albus Coelus. His biggest thing against the trend is the change in the participants’ skin color. Mr. Coelus said, “It is OK if a ‘white’ person does the trend, but when a person of another ethnicity tries it, it may be a little racist. My neighbor is Native American, and she chose to do the red part of the diet. She is now ridiculed for being a literal (no offense) ‘redskin’ and has isolated herself. This diet is not good for bringing people together.”

     While both sides have valid points, it is interesting to note that roughly half the town is on Arcus’ side and half is on Coelus’ side. Finally, if anyone is worried that the effects would be permanent, Arcus assures members of the public that if they go back to a regular diet, their skin will be normal again in about a month.